Bring your life to order


Started this post a month ago, but just finished it now. My friend’s life event inspired me to contemplate further into the way humans interact with each other. Each of the featured posters represents different people and their life perception that we all know. Don’t have to be in the same friendship circles to find the way people react to each other. Moreover, you don’t have to be a female to understand the simple way of being kind to yourself.

It took me many years to work up to below slogans in different ways. Truth is that respect begins with respecting yourself first and then everything else falls into order.

One of my friends was dating an exciting new person who was presenting himself as bigger than life gift to her. In a little while the facade came off and nonstop assaults were directed towards her persona as well as desired “teachings” into perfecting her. After that, name-calling began. Shortly after, she could do no right. In the end, this “magnificent” man was making the super loving and well-rounded lady feel as she is all wrong and deserves nothing positive in return, unless, of course, she changes her thoughts and the way of life. Even the healthy meals that she ate was not to his liking. She was strongly advised to rethink the way she consumes food. Intriguing was the way he responded to questions and clarifications. Meaning, no other women ever opposed him. Oh, and no other women ever offered so much Love before. It gets better. His interpretation as Showing Love meant “controlling” him.

Ha!  That makes me laugh, even now. Oh, I just don’t know. Maybe I deserve nothing, too, since I am laughing…Ha… Ha… Ha…

I want you, guys, to know, that loving yourself comes first. Before spreading the light outward, it has to originate within.  Taking care of others must emerge from self-practice. Even though the difficult concept of self-love does not come so easy to most of the people, once practiced,  the inner balance will help you deter anything that life throws you.  Bottom line, if you don’t love and respect yourself, no one will.

My friend impressed me at the end of her struggle. In her confused state, she finally gathered enough strength to break off all romantic notions with this egotistical, messed up and most likely deeply wounded individual. While cutting all ties, she told him that her loving state of being is a prized possession and should be considered as a gift when is offered. This ultra-successful man was dumbfounded and silenced. Yet again, success is in the eye of the beholder.



Be yourselves, everyone else is taken.

Until next time,

Luda, at PlantsandBeyond.com🌿


Disclosure: The images used in this post (including the Header Image) do not belong to Plantsandbeyond.






36 thoughts on “Bring your life to order

  1. I am so very proud of your good friend finding the courage to end it with the “faker”!!! BRAVO to her!!! 👏 ❤

    Luda, I see this, read about it and hear about it way too often from couples and singles. It is clear and obvious to me that whatever the mainstream social relational paradigm that exists in our culture about love — and its many, MANY forms — and how it functions between people, must change!!! Controlling someone or even expecting that the “relationship” is proprietary in the least… is DOOMED for failure. Period!

    Again, huge kudos to your friend Luda!!! 🤩

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi PT. Love hearing from you and your reflection is always appreciated. Yeah. You are right-a good one is to call him a Faker. Its such a great description. How didn’t I think of that?
      Must be a very hard concept to change for many people. Exercising the power of ownership must be researched further. I wonder if it is engraved into us with the DNA mutation for centuries and survival mechanism. Its amazing to me that you are a forward thinker and able to shed the light of this situation onto others. Very intriguing perspective to say the least. Thank you, kindly, pT 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, thank you Luda. I do like to go first, step or dive into the “unknown” and see what happens. I have lots of bruises, cuts, broken parts 😛 , and scars, but all sorts of firsthand experience!!! Woooohooooo!!! I think I’ll start going into new endeavors this way now…




  2. Each of us enters into relationships with our own unspoken expectations and wants. It stems from our past experiences and cultures in which we exist. I by no way condone this type of behavior but it is a sad person who has to behave this way to make himself feel whole. Perhaps that is how he grew up observing his parents in that very same type of relationship. Perhaps that is all he knows. I am of the opinion that not all of those who behave that way should be pushed aside. I opine that there is some value in helping to make these types of people realize what they are doing and make them realize that if they are not willing to help themselves and change in a positive direction, then their next relationship will suffer as did their first and end in failure. But they have to want to change. My second point here is that it takes two to tango. For the woman in this relationship to put up with excessive abuse from this person may result from an overbearing parent who was much too critical of her in her childhood. It may sound crazy, but perhaps she found some familiarity in that feeling of knowing where she stands in this warped relationship and that is reminds her of that past time of her life in a world of uncertainty. People stay in bad relationships for all types of reasons. So what is on the surface of this story has a very deep and complicated undertone that no one really knows, no doubt. Both are to blame for this relationship lasting as long as it did, but with education, introspection and a clear channel of communication, a positive twist to these things can actually be accomplished and all can learn and gain from this experience.

    Liked by 3 people

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